There's a lot of harsh conflict in my family's life, from stress, to constant phone arguments, to disrespect, to possible parental neglect from a son like me. This all encapsulates what I've been subjected to over the past 5 to 10 years of internet discovery, and I have a mix of opinions over it. Either I'm proud to be chronically online and not even sane, or I'm regretting having to put myself in this depressing situation, it doesn't matter.
What really matters is the lack of change in my behavior, and only time will tell when improvements will actually change me into a better person rather than some trashy, skinhead serial killer. Again, it's sad because I've been more innocent in my single number years, but I was also pretty stupid. But all the innocence has been overshadowed by the terror that stirs in my head, wether it's in the context of behavior or not.
Trouble with life can lead to worse possibilities, even if you're not responsible for your disastrous actions that can lead to serious trouble. Besides, because of all the misbehavior I've been bringing onto this world, my mother thinks I'd bomb a transit system at the age of 18, despite having the thoughts of not doing that.
It's...It's complicated to even explain what's going on, but all I had to say were those thoughts that rarely made sense. I'm expressing a bit of my trouble I've been having this year and the previous years: No activity, no love and respect, no flexibility, and no sense of likeness for anything. And I need help.
-Telsm
