I used to go to places when I was a kid. I went outside with my grandparents to the playground, I went to museums, I went to the beach often, and even the Kennedy Space Center. I still go outside as of now and have went to bigger places like North Carolina before, but it's just not as constant or vivid on how much I visit the outdoors.
I wish I could just go out more though. There's plenty of things I can do out there, just having adventures in places that I won't like at the start but will get used to the more I visit, but I can't think of that because I'm mostly on the iPad, on bed, listening to the same type of tedious but entertaining foolishness as background noise.
Because I had a more vivid and innocent past, I could've had the potential (and I still do), but I think I'm wasting it all on slacking off.
Even if my writing seems garbled and I'm just going around saying things that kind of don't have connection to the subject matter, it still matters. I'm still worried about my current state and my future, but I'm feeling fine because I often care less, even in times where I should care.
Also, I feel alone. I rarely even have any friends, and I wish I could have some. Some at least. Real life friends, but also a few internet friends. I could find someone to be my woman one day, but I don't know if I'll come off as some sort of unattractive kid who can't get a woman or some kind of abuser.
But aside all of what I've mentioned, I'm still begging and wanting more in life. I'm like a bland Disney princess who's dreaming of better opportunities, except male. And even then, I still hate doing these opportunities, but still want them in the future.
Okay, I'll stop crying now. Thanks for listening.
-Telsm
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