Have Ideas, Never Finalize Them

 I've made a lot of ideas for things I could create. Cartoons, games, fanmade MSPA comics, and many more. The bad part is I haven't even worked on most of them. I write drafts and eventually have a writer's block, preventing me from forming any more ideas efficiently.

With that, I could probably get other people to help me out with scripts and stuff, and this thought will stick with me until I actually form a working team for once. However, we'd probably become a group who suffers from creative differences. Hey, that's not bad of a name. I guess?

But who even cares about this anyway? It's not like anybody's gonna read this blog. They care more about my DeviantArt than they do about Blogger. Besides, I rarely ever update it.

Oh well, this entry was just too short. 

Band Ideas and Thoughts

 I was originally planning to make music under an alias called "whatkaktis." My ideal style would be like sound collages and plunderphonics (specifically having the songs be entirely of sampled music) in a jokey, playful style, kind of like the underrated Evolution Control Committee. I was trying to train myself to achieve this style through a few tracks I've made on FL Mobile, all of which is available on this alternatively titled Soundcloud of mine. 

But then I started thinking about making up a band with more than 4 people called "White Science" (named after Eridan Ampora's wand power). It'll have around 8 people partaking in it, and is the actual idealism for my musical career.

I've planned the album covers and planned song covers. The song covers are what we'll do first, then we'll move on to making our own stuff (which I've been practicing to compose briefly). 

But why not both Whatkaktis and White Science? Yes, both. I can sample songs and implement them into my music, mostly made with actual instruments and not default Fruity Loops plugins. It's gonna be anti-rock... midwestern plunderphonics children's music weird crap, whatever it's gonna be. That is what I need.

Also, I'll be the singer and producer, but I'd have to train my vocals in order to sing right.

Ideal Process of a White Science Song (IF I CAN COMPOSE ONE)

The entire song will first be composed fully in MIDI. Then I think of a subject for the song's theme, wether it's creative, weird, or generic. After that, I write down the lyrics and I try my best to match the rhythmic wording with the melody. At last, it's up to the performance to see how this will go.

I tend to imagine the songs having a cheerful sound to it. It could sound like a mix between folk, alternative, and midwestern emo. Maybe a few accordions and maybe a glockenspiel (Dudebro, who uses glockenspiels in alternative music?).

I don't know, maybe I shouldn't be so obsessive over this band. I'll still plan it for the future, but I'll let it rest. Maybe I can just continue doing plunderphonic jams when I get a newly built PC. I know how to make midis in my mac, shut up.

 

Oh well. Maybe time will tell.

Update: 6/12/24

I haven't made that many songs for my band, and I ditched the name "White Science" in favor of "Andy North." Another name I had in mind was "Eliphas Alphonse," named after a really famous French occultist, which I've also already made conceptual album covers of before I got started making the music.

What's different about Andy North and Eliphas Alphonse is simple. Andy North would be heavily inspired by They Might Be Giants while Eliphas Alphonse would be a more acoustic version of Nine Inch Nails with a hint of Have a Nice Life, at least in how I idealize the sound of the bands. 

Here's one song I tried to create for Andy North, called "I Don't Know."

ANOTHER UPDATE: 10/30/24

So it's nearing Halloween and I've already changed the name of the band, AGAIN. This time, it's called "Act Thirty." Reason is because I was gonna make a parody children's album for the band that would include performer avatars based off of Andrew Hussie and Ryan North, which seems... What's the word? Who cares. It was a stupid idea and would also seem a little "obvious" of some sorts, so I ditched the name "Andy North."

Even after all these weeks and months, I'm still waiting to form this band once and for all, but I doubt it'll happen.

Trouble With Life Can Lead to Worse Possibilities

There's a lot of harsh conflict in my family's life, from stress, to constant phone arguments, to disrespect, to possible parental neglect from a son like me. This all encapsulates what I've been subjected to over the past 5 to 10 years of internet discovery, and I have a mix of opinions over it. Either I'm proud to be chronically online and not even sane, or I'm regretting having to put myself in this depressing situation, it doesn't matter. 

What really matters is the lack of change in my behavior, and only time will tell when improvements will actually change me into a better person rather than some trashy, skinhead serial killer. Again, it's sad because I've been more innocent in my single number years, but I was also pretty stupid. But all the innocence has been overshadowed by the terror that stirs in my head, wether it's in the context of behavior or not.

Trouble with life can lead to worse possibilities, even if you're not responsible for your disastrous actions that can lead to serious trouble. Besides, because of all the misbehavior I've been bringing onto this world, my mother thinks I'd bomb a transit system at the age of 18, despite having the thoughts of not doing that.

It's...It's complicated to even explain what's going on, but all I had to say were those thoughts that rarely made sense. I'm expressing a bit of my trouble I've been having this year and the previous years: No activity, no love and respect, no flexibility, and no sense of likeness for anything. And I need help.

-Telsm

New Account From Old Account

There is an old account I used to have on YouTube that was both filled with real, live videos of me at the age of 4 and videos I made during when I was a kid. It originally belonged to my mother, considering all the old videos of her old horse and me being fed with chocolate pudding. All of the content I made myself was terrible, including two hate videos out of two content creators, but the older ones my mother recorded of me were like discovering a goldmine of old memories you previously dropped. 

Today, I recovered the email to that account and decided to change its branding entirely.

First, I tried to get rid of all the terrible videos I made (didn't save the comments 'cause I don't wanna go back and look at whatever cringe-fizzling flame wars happened to be on there), while I unlisted all the older videos before 2017 onto a a personal playlist. I downloaded both the bad videos and the memories onto this dysfunctional iPad that I'm currently using.

Next, I rebranded it to a new alter alias called "Anonymous Tealblood." I'm planning the purpose of the channel itself, something along the lines of music, circlejerking, and Wasted Potential: The Webcomic.
Then, I wiped out my entire activity history on both searches and watches, because I don't wanna sit on the YouTube homepage and look at whatever junk I missed out on since my last visit.

Finally, I deleted every single dumb comment I made previously. They were all terrible, and granted I was 9 years old at the time and didn't know anything at all, but they were somewhat amusing for how embarrassing they could be (I even complained about car commercials on a YouTube video, despite nobody caring at all lol).

And so, a new stage in content creation on the old account is born. The Anonymous Tealblood account will be kept silent until I get myself a new piece of useful, but unstable technology, unless if I'm... *gulp* well behaved.

With lots of yelp,
-Telsm

Re: New Account From Old Account

I didn't even do much on the YouTube account, so I ended up resetting it to how it was before I got ahold of the account. Now every single camcorder video of little old Nico is up again.

This means everybody's gonna look for my old stuff again, aren't they?

Parental Issues (Lament)

I have a mother. My mother has problems with health and she's trying her best to stay longer by treating it. Unfortunately, I can't make her live a good life when I'm angry. I guess that's why we don't usually get along good. I also have a father; he has less of the problems than my mother, but we do have trouble in some cases as well.

I guess maybe because I have all these daddy issues and motherly distrust I'm subjecting and brainwashing myself to bad and foolish things 24/7, and am I clearly fond of that? In some cases, I might think it's a good thing to have background noise of some 40 year old getting humiliated, but I'm aware that it's not at other times. This is a result of my constant slothful activity that I also have rare care about...when I obviously should.

Honestly, it's a rare chance for me to improve in real life when it comes to behavioral antics and manners. Unless if it's a successful shift in tone of attitude, mannerisms, and deeds, maybe my parents would trust me again, but only time will tell. Just to save some time, I'll create a lack of productivity until I realize entirely that I'm a useless child.  

I doubt anybody's reading anything on this blog. There's absolutely nobody coming in and it feels like I'm seeking for attention just writing these pointless posts. Not that I'm really gonna get so many views anyway. After all, I'm have a really, really small following, unless if something I make becomes really big...

iPad Got Updated.

 Both on Friday and Thursday, I lost control over my iPad's loss of fluent stability and usability after an iPadOS 16 upgrade. My biggest complaint is on the Files app: If I select a file, it has to load for about 50 milliseconds; even with bigger files it takes more than that (I'm actually an idiot. It happens on older versions too). I don't know if the Files app on iOS 16 would be better, but to butcher the loading time like that doesn't feel right.

Because of this, I got really angry and had to take a break from the iPad. Right now, I'm using my mother's iPad to type this. I'm thinking of having to downgrade that iPad to the previous version it used to be on, and that happens to be the same one on this iPad. As planned, I just hope that I can upgrade to iPadOS 15 instead, the same version my father's iPad has.

Aside from the usual computer trouble I keep having all day, I've also wrote a draft for a children's book that partially emulates my current state with technology. It's about this man who had a collection of computers and gadgets that have gotten worn out, so he builds himself a new piece of technology built with what he purposefully wanted. Here's a few rough sketches out of this rather interesting story I made after whatever happened that day, also before another out-of-question moment that happened the following day.

Yeah, it's kinda stupid, but it's just some ideas I had when I was ticked off about the tech problems.

Overall, I'm sensitive as my dry skin. In real life, I tend to overreact over certain things and my parents aren't proud of that, nor am I, and I sure hope that I stop going insane over slight things at some point in my life. Although I still need that hard-to-do iPad job done.

So, take care! I'll get back to my original iPad business when this downgrade is done.

Written depressingly,

-Telsm

Update: I'm poorly transferring everything from my iPad to my mother's iPad. Because we didn't know what to do, we chose to move most of what I got to here instead. Also, because my mother forgot the other method (the same way of transferring files from my broken iPad to my previous iPad), it's not even transferring everything, like my personal notes, my files on the "On My iPad" folder, my personal photo albums, etc. We're gonna have to figure out how to do that at some point.

Update: Forget it. I'm updating my new iPad. I have no choice. There's even more errors on this iPad than my old one.

Ideas I'm Sharing Pointlessly

 Here is a list of things I'm tending to work on in the future. I have a lot in my mind, but on this list I'll just share some, not all.

...Okay, maybe all of them, but still.

atyxlcl.gmtrx

Atyxlcl Gmtrx (previously known as Atypical Geometry on earlier drafts before being grammatically corrupted) is a surreal comedy webseries involving a set of geometric shapes and whatever happens around them or in their minds. 

For the humor, it is planned to engineer a combination of satirical humor, abstract humor, "surreal meme" humor, black comedy, some poor attempt at British humor, and possibly the worst humor I could pull off. If I can try to make something funny by accident it's all my fault, since I can't humor correctly.

This series was also originally planned as an object show based off the infamous "Shape World," a series part of the aforementioned genre that shows off a stylistic suck and was criticized by many. I was thinking of this one to be some unofficial improvement reboot out of Shape World back somewhere in school.

I've already done every voice line for a potential pilot and partially the entire edited audio, but not the animation or compositing. I have to work on complete production, really.

Fact: Atyx was what made me develop parts of my current artstyle since March of 2022.

Playful Spectrum

Playful Spectrum is a series of shorts I have yet to work on, but feels like it already is in my mind, like Atyx. It takes place in a large, unscalable house, constructed by multiple pieces of people's rooms and makeshift arts and crafts. In this house lives a set of personified colors that live their daily lives, particularly one of the main characters, Blukas.

Blukas is shy, curious, melancholy, calm, and sometimes sensitive. When he first came onto the house of multiple colors, he doesn't feel connected, but does later on as he gains understandings of the other colors.

I haven't done a script for anything yet, but I did draw a lot of the potential characters, two of which have been shown on my Newgrounds account (Spoilers: I chose a pretty bad name for my account).

Fact: This show's characters might be a depiction of intellectual specialty, but I don't know how to represent them without offending people...

Wound

I might do this when I'm a lot older considering how it's gonna work out, but I already did the idea just in case.

Wound is the big kids version of the Scratch website, allowing less restrictive guidelines for the content and more grown-up content. In short, Wound is for adults, Scratch is for kids.

Wound may have better mechanisms for creating a project, including more advanced coding methods, advanced sound editing, etc. In rare chances, standard coding languages will be implemented into the Wound system.

Now, if you want projects and animations by children, really bad animation memes, and Five Nights at Freddy's clones, go to Scratch. If you want, say, a Blend-a-Bush project or some edgelord stuff, try Wound if you don't like all the restrictions on Scratch.

Either way, I have nothing to speak about, but all I can say is: It's a future project that can scratch millions of kids' heads on why there's profanity on a children's coding site...Or I dunno whatever you wanna say it as

Horned Idiots

Now, I don't even wanna express this pile of trolldung's purpose anyway, so I'll just leave it at the word "No."

Codename: Some Really Bad Video Game (20)

20 is a (probably bad) sci-fi adventure RPG with influence from indie developments and other RPG games, particularly Undertale. 

A chronically online, but sane young man, along with other people, explore through 20 parts of the digital realms to escape to the real world. Unfortunately, the digital world itself seeped into the real world slightly before they left. Because of this, at the end, the children must separately partake in obstacles related to their digital life to find out what went wrong in order to let the real world stay sort of Earthly.

I already made my characters and I'm thinking of how this whole project would go by storyline choices, but I may not be good at writing things.

Conclusion

I guess that's all I have to say. Hopefully, I can come to do work on these projects in the future!

-Telsm